Things I have learned in Scotland

The people
Don’t be naïve enough to think that just because you understand English, you will understand everything a Scottish person says. (the accent!)

And if the accent isn’t enough:
“Two countries separated by a common language” Quote from a lady at a “charity shop” explaining that a “Jersey” is a sweater and a “jumper” is a shirt.


This works both ways. At least one of us had a Scottish person ask her to speak slower so that her accent could be understood
The Scottish people put a high priority on being nice and won’t tolerate less from others. Signs everywhere warn you that employees have the right to work without being mistreated by you.
It’s amazing but true, an average looking man puts on a kilt and suddenly he’s a 10.
On the road
The drivers will make you swear… a lot… even in front of your mother
If there is a bridge that is 10 foot long, has a rock wall on both sides and is curved, you WILL pass a minimum of three oversize trucks who do believe that they own the whole damn road. Don’t even get me started about the “single track” roads!

Many Scottish men disregard the above mentioned “niceness” if they are driving on the road, in a parking lot or walking past a vehicle that beeps it’s horn. I have witnessed shouted arguments full of threats of types of bodily harm I have never even heard of before! I saw one guy stop his car in the middle of a major city at rush hour, get out and chase down a car he thought ad scratched his. This of course blocked traffic in 5 directions. People waited patiently while he shouted for awhile. When he headed back to his car he waved politely to the person behind him and apologized for holding him up. Like I said….. Nice!

The food
Never plan a “Foodie” holiday to Scotland. Enough said.
The TOILETS

If you ask for the bathroom or the washroom, 50% of the people you ask will understand. It’s Toilets people.
Toilet flushing feels like a game show competition. Will you have to push down the handle only once?? Almost never. So, should you pump it up and down rapidly? Works sometimes. Flush, pause, flush, pause? Occasionally. (once again this involves swearing in front of your mother, if she happens to be in the next stall!) I can’t tell you the feeling of accomplishment when the water finally rushes down, flushing as it should! Like I imagine winning a gold medal at the Olympics must feel!!!
After you wash your hands you are frequently greeted by a terry cloth hand towel to dry your hands. Not a problem really though because hand washing seems to be strictly optional here.

The sinks in the TOILET are the perfect size… if you happen to be 2 years old.
Sinks that “mix” hot and cold water are almost as rare as the DoDo bird. Only a problem because most places use an old oil heating system to heat the water, so you are quite likely to get scalded when you try to wash your hands. ( maybe this combined with the small sink size is the reason hand washing isn’t popular!)
The Animals
Cows and sheep cohabit nicely in the same fields, something my mom tells me just isn’t done at home. This is good because the sheep alone far outnumber the humans in this country. Good thing they play well with others.

Peacocks enjoy a nice tea as much as the rest of us, and if you have never seen a peacock with butter on his beak, trust me… pretty funny.